Come to Kenya
I found Thom Yorke was sitting on my couch in his Care Bears pajamas eating a bowl of Count Chocula.
"You look so tiiired, uuunhappy," he said in between spoonfuls.
"Yeah, yeah, it was a late night," I mumbled. When I went to make breakfast, I found an empty carton on the kitchen counter.
"God damn it, Thom!" I shouted. "You drank all the milk again!"
"Get off my caaase!" he replied, curtly.
Thom and I spent the morning watching Smurfs reruns. I was angry and confused. What had I said last night to Cecilia that had upset her?
Then I had an idea. I turned to Thom and said, "Let's go to the zoo."
He pointed upwards. "From a greeeeeat height."
"Bring an umbrella."
When I get depressed, the zoo always make me feel better. Because of the noreaster, it turned out to be practically empty. Thom was really into it. "Mooooonkey!" he announced, pointing. "Baboooooooooooon!"
Thom forced me to stop at the gift store. He bought a large box of Hot Tamales and a novelty baseball cap with plush tiger ears . He began to prowl rather than walk. "We have liooons and tiiiiiigers!" he declared before bounding off.
I wandered around by myself and ended up standing at the bison enclosure. "Why did I get drunk last night?" I asked them. "I like Cecilia. But I acted like an idiot. Is it because I found Thom Yorke dressed in a powder blue tuxedo in the bathroom passing out moist towelettes?"
One of the bison slapped at a fly with its tail. I shook my head. "I must be going crazy."
I stood quietly for a few minutes. It began to rain a bit harder. I could feel wetness seep through my jacket.
All of a sudden, Thom Yorke pounced on my back. "Aaaaaah! Puuuuuuuma!"
I laughed as I tried to fight him off. "Okay, okay, you can let go now! You got me!"
Thom looked very pleased with himself. He then noticed that I was soaking wet.
"Come on, raaaaaaain down," he said matter a factly as he opened up his umbrella.
We huddled together underneath it and walked quickly back towards the subway.